R Rated Guacamole

“I’ve been thinking about changing my major from Home Economics to Feminist Studies, but I wasn’t sure if you had any feminist cooking classes.”

– Bunny, from the movie about to be reviewed…

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of DeathBuenos Aires – A couple of months ago I mentioned the movie Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, in passing, and realized that I simply had to see a movie that was as bad as the title. Luckily, it turned out to be downloadable (if you’re into torrents), as I’m fairly confident it’s not the sort of film that I could find at a neighborhood video shop here. Why do we still call them video shops? Most of them don’t have any videos anymore, it’s all DVDs and Blu-Rays and what have you.

I’m not going to spoil the plot for you, let me just say, it’s not a bad movie, at least not in the sense of a movie that you sit there wishing you could get that hour and a half of your life back. It’s an intentionally bad movie, or better said, a completely, over the top, campy movie. Come on – written and directed by J.F. Lawton who also has to his credit such little nothings as Pretty Woman, Under Siege, Chain Reaction, V.I.P; and a cast that includes Shannon Tweed, Adrienne Barbeau, Karen Waldron and Bill Maher… They knew exactly what they were doing. It’s hard to say that it was brilliantly acted in a film like this, but in a way it was – that they managed to pull off a script like this completely deadpan serious is a tribute to their skill, or some major drugs.

The gist of the story – southern California is a vast, uncharted wasteland (yes, yes, I know…) that is known as the Avocado Jungle – the last supply of avocados in the free world. It is inhabited, no, dominated, by radical feminists, so radical that after having sex with their men, they eat them, dipped in guacamole of course. A local feminist college professor is blackmailed into heading into the jungle to negotiate on behalf of the United States Government and she takes along a young, bubble-headed Barbie sort (quoted above) and a “real man” guide in the form of an ex-one night stand (Bill Maher twenty years ago, more or less shirtless throughout, I’m sorry to say…).

The film is a mashup of stereotypes that no doubt manages to equally offend anyone committed to a social point of view on feminism, regardless of what that point of view is, by poking fun at each and every stereotype. And, it pulls it off. Rent this, buy this, download it, talk me into sending it to you via Pando, whatever… watch it.

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