Flowered Moment

2012.Oct.15 Monday · 4 comments

in Life

Mom's family
Nana, Grandpa Al, Aunt Carol, Mom – 1951

This is not at all the post I’d planned for today or for these photos. But life has its moments. Almost 40 years ago my mom passed away, quite suddenly. The family fallout over the next few years created an ever widening rift between “our” family and “hers” that gradually left us estranged from her younger sister and our cousins. The details don’t matter, nothing was done intentionally or maliciously, and it wasn’t adversarial between the two sets of kids, but basically, we almost never saw them again. Here and there we reconnected, at a wedding once, via e-mail, and at one point one of my two cousins and I met up for a bite while I was living in NYC and he was living north of the city for a brief period. And, Facebook reconnected us in a vague way – we don’t really chat much, but we’re at least “friended” and sometimes comment on each other’s posts.

And, early this morning, after a long bout with illness, my aunt passed away. We knew it was coming, my cousins have posted regular updates for friends and family to see as they struggled through these last months. I’ve had no direct contact with her for years and while I’ve felt and feel sympathy and empathy for my cousins, I didn’t think it would really impact me all that much – she’s someone I’ve only had a single conversation with in something like 38 years and that was almost 20 ago. But here I am in tears because it feels like another thread of connection to my mother was just snapped.

I don’t even know whether she liked roses, but yesterday I spent an hour or so wandering through the Rosedal garden, snapping photos of the early spring blooms. And I offer them up in memoriam to my Aunt Carol, to my mom, to family.

Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk
Rosedal walk

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Karin October 16, 2012 at 08:50

I’m sorry for your loss. The loss of your mom when you were all young, the loss of family relationships and now the loss of your Aunt Carol.

Paz October 16, 2012 at 11:12

beautiful roses. may they rest in peace.

Mark Klafter November 1, 2012 at 13:33

Danny — I love you and your entire family. And it was wonderful being able to see Missy a couple weeks ago, as well as meet Rachel for the first time. It reminded me that no matter what, family is family, and years of separation can never erase that. And believe it or not, I can remember vividly being at your place in NYC for the little cocktail party you were having. And that was over 20 years ago! My mom was a flower and plant freak. She loved them all and could grow ANYTHING. And interestingly enough, she was into photography for a while and took pics of nothing but flowers. Yours above remind much of ones she took. Thanks for posting the pic her, you mom, and Nana/Papa

Deb Klafter November 5, 2012 at 20:45

Dan(ny),

What a wonderful note and and your rose pictures look like you can reach out and touch them. I’m so sorry that we have had so many years of separation other than the occasional Facebook message. It was so great to see Missy and Rachel and I’m sure you would have been there too if you were not so far away.

My travel list still includes a trip to see you and I hope that it will be soon.

With Love,
Deb

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